there is no rage more pure than the the one you feel when you discover that someone ate your entire bag of chips except for the litttle crumbled shards

Over a year ago now.

do you have any clue what a Caucasian Shepherd is?

The answer is no.

Hey what’s that?

image

Looks like a guy just chillin on a bench.

Unless you mean that humungous dog covering everythign. That’s a Caucasian Shepherd. You could ride this thing like a horse. Like Tommy Pickles how he used to ride his dog Spike. Pretty sure Phil and Lil took a ride on Spike too. Angelica never did because she was a fucking bitch to everyone all the time and Spike probably didn’t like that.

Anyway a Caucasian Shepherd can only be made when you take a wolf and a bear and make them fall in love with eachother (this can only happen in captivity). Once this isi done the wolf will fuck the bear in it’s ass. Nine months later a Caucasian Shepherd is born! Nature is crazy 

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Here we have a Caucasian Shepherd puppy about to devour a woman whole. It looks small in the picture but keep in mind that the woman is also very big. Shes fuckin jacked. 

Now I know what you’re thinking: didn’t Chucky ride Spike too? He is Tommy’s best friend.

Are you dumb? Fucking chucky was scared of everything. He would shit all over Spike immediately from fear. Spike knows this and would most likely not even let him. 

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Caucasian Shepherds have been known to fuck several bitches at once. They will often go to JCPenny and take pictures with them to mark their territory. Notice above how deeply scared this woman is of her Caucasian Shepherd. That’s love. He has her so in check that’s she’s barely even in the picture. I feel like thats the same lady from the other picture. I feel like her name is Margie.

miley cyrus has the same haircut as me 

How to make an Oreo Ice Cream Treat Surprise

a lot of people have tried my famous Oreo Ice Cream Treat Surprise and every single time, they ask me the same thing, “How is this so delectable?”  in those exact words. So I figured I’d finally put up the recipe!

What you’ll need

  • A package of Oreos, preferably double stuffed. You know what fuck it. Make sure it’s double stuffed. Regular stuffed isn’t even worth it 
  •  A gallon of ice cream. I find that vanilla works best. If you’re watching your weight you can always substitute the ice cream with absolutely nothing else because it has to be ice cream.

Now what you’re gonna wanna do is just take an oreo…. and just kinda go ahead and dip it in the ice cream. Use it like a spoon almost… Get a nice glob of ice cream right on that oreo cookie. And just eat it. It’s delicious

Hope this was helpful, enjoy

Some of you haters might be like “people always eat oreos with ice cream you didn’t make this up” ummmmm how bout no. Not like this they don’t. This is better. Oreo in every bite. Mother fuckers get a whole bowl of ice cream and fit three or four oreos in there, tops. I’m not about that. I’m about dipping an entire oreo in an entire gallon of ice cream. Thirty times. Because that’s how many oreos there is in a 18 oz pack. I know the exact number because you can’t fuck with me on this. I know what I’m doing.

this is the funniest thing i’ve ever seen

this is the funniest thing i’ve ever seen

isn’t it crazy how you can tell somebody’s british just from their face

Rob DenBleyker

just a reminder that balloonshop used to exist

thank you so much for taking care of the kids while we were gone nigga, you have no idea what it means to us. 

how does senior vice president sound to you, nigga? you start tomorrow

hey nigga great job today, i think i’m gonna give you a raise

try to say the word nigga in a positive way

let me know how it goes

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